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Mastermind

Here is the new mixtape Mastermind, Enjoy.

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Do it

I just tweeted this, but the most important thing I learned in 2011 was, if you wanted to do something or want to be something, just do it.  It really that simple.  We all say that, I want to do this or I wanna be this or I wish I could do this.  But never make an effort to do, or do it, then fail and never try again.  Just because you fail once, doesn't mean quit.  The best athlete, musician, coach or even doctor wasn't born the best.  They tried, they did good sometimes and they failed sometimes, but they never stop trying.  Then one day they was named the best.  Now not everyone wants to be the best.  But everybody wants to do something.  Whatever you wanna do, go do it. Make it become your reality, instead of a dream.

Late night thoughts

I'm not for this shit. You either stick.to.your commit.or I.kidnap you.  I'm dead ass right now.  Lord please forgive, this is the only way I can think of to keep her here now and until the day I die.  Why tell me she is the one and not have her be the one. Or were you saying she is the one I need to erase.  I can't erase her, I am to human.  You are the only one who can do that not me.

Don't worry, I got you.

I love, and the love is not benefiting me in anyway.  I need to stop loving. I need to stop caring.  I need to starting becoming selfish.  Make 2012 the beginning for the life of self satisfication for Chris Maxwell.  Nobody else expect for you kids.

Last night = mental break down

I think last night I had an emotional break down.  Well actually, I know last night I had an emotional break down.  All of my sadness, reach its limit last night. I don't like the way that felt at all. But I think I needed it.  I woke up this morning still kind of sad but, feeling way better.

Stress reliever

People say crying is one of the best ways to release all those negative emotions.  Well, I guess I really need to cry then.  I remember when I was younger, a lady, I think she was a relative, told me "stop crying, the only time you should cry is in times of happiness".  From then on I tried to stop being such a cry baby about everything.  I haven't cried since my grandfather died in the 7th grade.  I use to love him to death.  At his funeral my aunt terry said "don't waste your tears on him, he is in a better place." I told myself from then on, I will not ever cry again. Well now I'm a junior in college and I've cried once since then.  I don't remember what it feels like though. I think a reason why I do not cry anymore is because, I don't have anybody to cry to.  I can truthfully say there is not one person on earth, that I can trust my weakness moment with.  I no friend no family member.  There is a person who I want to be the one I can trust all of me into.  But I feel like I have lost her.  I had a pop up quiz and failed. Now idk if I will still get a passing grade.  I feel like, she got pushed to the edge, and said fuck it. When I'm at the edge sign 6 feet by creed talking bout it ain't so far down.  Know that once I take that step off I'm dead.  The real question is do I wanna die.  Do I want to continue living the rest of my life, tearless.  Or do I want to go get fixed, and be able to cry once more.  I know my purpose, I just need a reason